Transcendental Moonshine
by Violet's Veil
Summary: What if Saix and Axel were friends once upon a time?


_**A/N: I toyed with the idea of Saix and Axel actually being something of friends in the Organization before Roxas' arrival and before Axel's "betrayal" and before they were ultimately put against each other. I was not really sure how I wanted to end but I hope it's likable. This is technically the first KH2 fanfiction I have written. Oh and also note that the empty area where this takes place is actually the area of the castle where that big heart shaped "moon" is later on in KH2 (where if I'm not mistaken is also where the fight with Saix happens).**_**Transcendental Moonshine**

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**Transcendental Moonshine**

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The sky was cold and a shade of inky black, continuing forever, never showing a sunrise. Never showing stars. Never showing a true moon. It was as consistent as the presence of their kind, the eight forms teetering on the edge of nothingness. Shunned by both the glow of light and it's equivalent darkness. Many times the newest addition to Organization XII had tried and failed to find even a glimmer of any light in this world's sky. His fiery green eyes searched hard almost frantically for even the tiniest ray of a faraway world-anything- that would lead him back to a place he knew he had forgotten. A heart he had lost.

A small sigh escaped him, the tiniest noise vibrated against the outer walls of their castle and tangoed with the darkness which sucked all emotion from the sound.

The flaming red head pushed his cloak from his hair which stood out against the perfect dark like an obscenity.

A dull sound of a door closing met his ears, causing him to turn on his perch near the edge. The blue haired figure moved seamlessly across the stone, even his cloak was without noise as it rustled. His deadly calm golden eyes landed briefly on the green eyes of the Flurry of Dancing Flames before leaving towards the black void beyond the castle.

_Hi Saix_, he wanted to say but quickly decided against it. The Luna Diviner, number seven, had not said more than three words to him the entire time since he'd joined their ranks. Axel looked into the void, never looking in Saix's direction. Soon once again he felt as if he were alone out here on the side of the castle not facing the uninhabited city far below, without Saix's unforgettably noticeable presence.

He swung his feet over the edge watching his black boots and cloak disappear into the matching blackness. Many times had he toyed with the irresistible idea of throwing himself into the far reaching continuous darkness surrounding the castle. What would happen? Would the darkness accept him like a lost child or friend? Waltz with him like a lost lover? Would he ever land? Would the darkness throw an anomaly against normalcy such as himself or Saix away? If he reached out his hand would something or someone reach back?

"You search as if your eyes wish to see something that is not there."

Axel looked up into staring luminescent gold topaz eyes of Saix standing a mere foot or two away from him. His eyes did not seem as guarded now.

"I was just thinking."

"About?"

"Well-"

"Your heart."

"Yeah..." Axel tore his eyes away from the shorter member. "I ..." he closed his mouth.

"Yes?"

Axel ran a gloved back hand through his hair.

"Nothing."

"Very well." Saix was silent again yet Axel could feel his eyes boring into this skull.

He shifted uncomfortably. "Saix?"

"Hmm?"

"Did you ever feel like...when you first lost your heart..that you could still feel it?"

The question hung like a twig ready to be broken in the silence that followed.

"y-No."

"You are lying."

"I had. No more. It is all an hopeless delusion as Xemnas has told us. We are beings without our lost hearts. We are minor reflections-shadows- of our former selves. Nobodies. We have no hearts therefore we can not feel them."

Axel fell silent, Saix's words cut him somewhere though he knew the blue haired man couldn't have meant to hurt him. How can he hurt him if he has no emotions right?

"Do you really believe that? Xemnas could be wrong-"

"We have no proof to prove otherwise." Saix cut him off stonily. His tone hardened in a way that intrigued Axel. "You are new to this. You will realize to feel as if there is any part of whomever you were left will do nothing but cause unnecessary weakness, Axel."

"I hear you, Saix, but you aren't that seasoned at being a nobody either right? You joined a number before me. How can you say you don't feel that void that should be filled with a heart beating with emotion, memories, and a personality? A heart you can still feel?"

"Your childish beliefs are sad, Axel." Saix said after a momentary silence.

Axel looked over at him. Saix was no longer standing but sitting beside him, his eyes contradicting all that he himself had said. The golden orbs had a faraway hopeful almost insanely heart breaking wonder about them. Quickly he looked away from Axel, regaining his stoic unnerving aura.

"Are they, Saix?" Axel asked quietly. "I think that once you felt how I do now..maybe you still do." he watched the other nobody for a reaction.

Saix said nothing, he merely stared into the darkness, his blue hair hanging around his face obscuring it from view.

Axel suddenly relished the idea of telling Saix all of his thoughts about it all. He really needed someone to talk to, maybe he and Saix could be something of friends in this cold dark world.

"I wish I could remember my real life...maybe I could understand how I could lose my heart..." he muttered, glancing from the corner of his eye. Saix's gloved hand twitched, the red head took this as an indication he was listening. "I bet I had a close friendship with at least one other person...he probably misses me. What happens to the people we left behind? Will they forget us? I can't tell you how many times I have thought about it. It hurts sometimes."

"Axel ..."

"I mean I know you think it's sad and pitiful but who's to say that none of the others feel exactly the same, maybe even Xemnas? We can't possibly be lost to nothingness forever..I refuse to believe that."

Saix looked up at him, frowning only slightly. "Xemnas has a plan."

"I know I know but do we really know that'll work, and how far off into the future until that plan even goes into motion? Besides...I don't like the idea of taking other people's hearts just so we can get ours back." Axel ran a hand through his hair.

Saix shook his head. " Why are you telling me this?"

Throwing his hands into the air Axel laughed, a strange unnatural sound that faded quickly into the darkness. "Why not? Tell me something Saix...what do you think you were before you lost your heart?"

Saix's eyebrows furrowed, he looked away. Axel sighed, maybe he had gone too far.

"I.." he shifted slightly as if the words he wanted to say would destroy the stone wall he seemed to have around himself.

Axel perked up. "Keep going..I won't tell anybody."

The Luna Diviner glanced at him. "You're strange."

"So are you." Axel pointed out without missing a beat.

A small almost invisible smile played on Saix's lips.

Axel balanced a flame on the tip of his finger. "So we're both strange, are you going to tell me?"

_Maybe they could become friends... _

His green eyes watched Saix's subtle movements in silence waiting for him to talk. Saix held one of the silver chains of their robes between his fingers and let it fall against his chest.

"I'd say you were someone powerful and important...someone everyone believed and trusted..maybe with a dark secret or dark thoughts." Axel commented airily.

"Perhaps I was." Saix's tone reflected his thoughts. "It doesn't matter does it, Axel? We can not recall anything from our 'real lives.' "

"Why did you come out here? Saix?"

The question hung in the air for a moment, being over analyzed by the asker and the asked.

"The same reason you are out here Axel." Saix quietly answered. He opened his mouth as if to say more but closed it. "It is sad."

Axel hung his head. Maybe it _was _sad to continue believing in something he'd lost. Something he couldn't even remember.

He heard the movement of his company's cloak, knowing he was standing to leave.

"Axel."

He looked up at the sound of his name. Saix was looking down at him. His green eyes widened slightly as Saix put a hand on his shoulder.

"Be careful with those radical beliefs. Thoughts usually become actions. _Actions have consequences. _But by all means..do not stop having them." his eyes searched the sky briefly before landing back on Axel's. He patted Axel's shoulder and turned away, leaving the area without a backwards glance.

"Actions have consequences..." Axel reflected those words, standing up to follow him. The feeling of his fellow member's hand still weighed heavy on him.

The area was empty again, surrounded only by a piercing darkness, against the white stone walls of the castle.

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_**A/N: to read is human to review is divine. **_

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